Reflections post a hike...

It’s been a good day.  I have taken time to walk, enjoy nature and just relax.  I realized that as I have aged, I miraculously have learnt not to be stupid.  Or at least as stupid.  Today - when given the opportunity to do something such as hike up a steep, loose wet rock cliff but get a better shot...I thought about it and stopped myself.  About an hour later I stared at the shore of a river and was mentally debating between forging a way down the bank where there was no path or wading through the shallower waters...I stopped myself.  First off, I don’t have the knees to pull that off.  Secondly, it’s Alaska and that water is freezing.  Finally, it’s Alaska and I have personally seen bears along that river.  

What’s important to note here is that for the first time, in a long time, I realized something about myself.  I was growing.  I was making smart, well thought out decisions.  Not all the time, one could argue not even most of the time.  But today I did!  I’ll take the small win.

Number seven scary - Solo cruiser

I am doing something that scares me.  This is actually my seventh scary item and I am proud to have finished off this category!

I am on a cruise by myself.  The industry term for me is “solo cruiser”.  This means I pay a premium but have a state room to myself.  It’s day 2...and it’s not too bad.  Not going to lie...it’s a bit lonely at times...but overall I am staying positive and determined to have a good time.

The past few months have been hard.  I have struggled after coming home from my last mission and I haven’t really had a chance to be alone.  Another reason I thought I could take a break and be by myself for a bit.  

I have done this cruise before...but it’s different when you are by yourself.  Last night at dinner I was seated at a table for one.  This “special” table was pretty much inside the waiters stand.  With a strong focus on customer service, this means that every single waiter who returned to the stand to pick up the water jug or coffee urn would ask me, “how was your meal”.  Literally every third bite I had to answer this question.  Could be worse I guess...the soufflé was amazing!

New meal!

It’s been a long week.  So many little things have gone wrong and I have struggled to stay positive...things are starting to look a bit better.  They aren’t better yet...but I have a small glimmer of hope...and for now that’s what I’ll cling to.

Still plucking away at my list.  Today I made a pasta dish...felt kind of good to be back cooking again today!  Once again the days that were better were the days that I started off early and with a walk.  I will be moving again shortly and I am looking forward to being able to develop a routine.  

Update on progress

Well...I’m still behind.

I know that some things are easier to come by...I just need to focus.  One of my “scary things” is resuming all my time.   I am dragging in some key areas...cooking, effort on myself, positive messages, eat vegetarian, podcasts, stop talk and listen....

By my calcuclation I need to to do 5.5 things a day to finish by my birthday.  WHAT!?!

I have a lot coming up in the next few weeks...this will be hard to get some stuff done then.  So, for this week I will commit to making a real effort to knocking at least 6 a day off the list!

I am confident!!