Figure out the "why"...

I am proud to say that I have made some progress with my writing.  I have written and outline, met with a writing coach and I have a plan.  Will I publish it and retire?  Well...that may be the dream but I'm not really thinking it's a reality.  But I want to focus on just finishing the book...I want to be proud that I achieved this goal.

I know that I need to set some goals and follow through.  While there is no set deadline, if I don't give myself a deadline...I'll never get done.  I can procrastinate with the best of them.

My writing coach the other day asked me the dreaded question the other day..."why do you want to write a book"?  Every answer I gave just resulted in the follow up question of "why"?  And the truth is...I am struggling to answer this question.  I'm actually not sure why I want to write it.  I mean - I think I have something to say and it's a goal that I have always wanted to achieve.  But I am still struggling for the real "why".  Dave explained that knowing the why can help keep you motivated to continue...and I totally agree with that.  I just need to figure out my "why"...

To cheer me up!

One of my favourite things in the world is to photograph animals...and I haven't had a chance to go on a safari for a long time.  I miss taking photos.  I did get a little taste when I was in Alaska and was able to watch the humpback whales...that was amazing.  But...it wasn't the same.

I sort of sense a bit of depression coming on lately...so I decided to cheer myself up...and went out to photograph animals!  Of course I wish it was the plains of Africa or the jungles of South America...but as that's not a reality.  So I went off to the zoo.  I calculated that I needed to visit the zoo three times to make the membership worthwhile...so expect more photos.

Un autre changement...

I discovered that it's pretty hard to track learning 7 new french words a month.  I think the problem is that I have studied French for so many years...I'm not even sure what's new.  So, I have modified the goal to "study French for 10-15 min a day".  Currently I am on a 20 day streak! 

I have no idea if I will ever learn enough to become fully bilingual and work in French...but I need to start somewhere.  I haven't booked a meetup with French speakers yet...just not confident that I know enough.  But I will keep practicing every day!

The latest master plan...

My year is coming to a close and one of the things I have learnt...I already know how to do a lot of things to be successful.  I just need to do them.  If I stop and think of what I truly want of me...I have realistic ways of achieving my goals.  I have a bad habit of not wanting to start something if I can't do it perfectly.  I am hoping that I can overcome this fear and just try.  Something has to be better than nothing.  I need to lose a lot of weight...as in almost 100 lbs.  That would be great but I should be thrilled if I can lose 10lbs to start with! 

Here are a few of my goals and how I am going to work to achieve them...(I am hoping that putting them in writing will make it a bit more concrete for me and encourage some follow through)

1) Learn French.  Actually practice....over the years I have taken numerous courses, lessons and used apps.  I just need to buckle down and do something.

• Commit to at least 15 min a day of app practice.
• Sign up and try at least one French meet up to practice speaking to people
• Try and talk with Cait at least 10 min a week
• Try a Learn French Podcast

2) Lose weight.  I am going to try something new! 

• Intermittent fasting.  I inadvertently did this a while ago and had success.  I will try and go back to it again...maybe aiming for 5 - 6 days a week of 16:8 to start with.  
• Check in with Jolie...I sort of need someone to check in with for accountability
• Be reasonable...eat the foods you know you should eat and minimize the others.
• Weigh in twice a week

3) Write a book.  I have no illusions of being a famous author but I want to write something that I can be proud of...to prove to myself that I can do it.

• Write.  The best thing to do is just sit and write, even if its crap...it can be edited later.
• Sign up for writing meet-ups
• Use a writing coach for important feedback and someone to talk through the process
• Commit to 2100 words a week (300 words a day - can edit later!)

Role Models 2

Another glimpse into some of the amazing people that inspire me...

Emily - I adore Emily. Her sense of humour, her humility and her general view of life is admirable. I want to be Emily when I grow up. She is the definition of steady, dependable and a great friend.

Craig - He is one of the best people I have ever met. He’s genuine. He’s funny. He can talk to anyone. I need to remember his approach...just be yourself. Works well for him because his self is pretty darn amazing.

Marty - This man is kindness personified. I am convinced that he would help anyone he could at anytime. He is passionate about his wife, his work and his cat. He’s a reminder that being kind is not weak - in fact just the opposite.

Jed - He’s a tv character. But the motto “what’s next” tells me to just move on. Good and bad things happen, focus on what’s next

Jill - I just finished her running with curves book. Inspirational and motivational. It’s clear she loves running and I admire her desire to try and recruit others to a healthy lifestyle. As a “runner” who has stopped and started a lot...I am interested in getting back to it for my health - mental and physical!

Jolie - My bff for years. She can always say the right thing to help me with tough choices. She’s supportive no matter what but has no problem when pointing out something I may not want to hear. A person who just “gets” me.  She never judges but is always supportive.

Ed - No one I have ever met has such a dedication to taking a new task or interest to such a level. He learns everything about it and then embraces it fully...from mountain bikes, superfoods and my favourite...coffee! He’s hard working...just a really good person.

Regina - She’s a nurse in Sierra Leone.  A dedicated person - to her patients, her coworkers, her family and her faith.  I have seen her walking all over the town, stricken with malaria to make sure that going away presents are sorted.  She is the glue that holds so many things together.  I simply adore and admire her in many ways.

Tim Gunn - He’s known mostly for being he mentor on Project Runway - and it’s how I “know” him too.  What I admire about Tim is his genuine approach to every situation.  He “tells it like it is” but with complete honesty and sincerity.  I take away that bit that you can be honest, give your opinion (even when not favourable) as long as you communicate with an authentic and kind approach

Alexandria Ocasia-Cortez - Not being American I can’t say that I know a lot about the political scene.  So, is AOC the best political option - I’m not sure.  But one thing I can say...I am impressed by her gumption.  It’s not easy to put yourself out there.  From everything I can see, she worked tirelessly to fight for what she believed in.  I can’t imagine putting in the long hours when you know that there is a good chance it will end in failure.  I am impressed.

Guy on the boat - I don’t know his name.  But he always seems so positive.  He explained at lunch once that him and his wife were blue collar workers who saved their whole lives so they could retire early and travel the world.  And that’s just what they are doing.  He spends his retired days researching and planning their port trips.  I couldn’t be more impressed.  And more than that...he's a random guy that just made me feel good about myself.  “It’ll take more than one cowboy to tie her down and every time I see her I think, what a fascinating life she has." This is a stranger who takes the time to make me feel good...more of us should do that.  

Reflections post a hike...

It’s been a good day.  I have taken time to walk, enjoy nature and just relax.  I realized that as I have aged, I miraculously have learnt not to be stupid.  Or at least as stupid.  Today - when given the opportunity to do something such as hike up a steep, loose wet rock cliff but get a better shot...I thought about it and stopped myself.  About an hour later I stared at the shore of a river and was mentally debating between forging a way down the bank where there was no path or wading through the shallower waters...I stopped myself.  First off, I don’t have the knees to pull that off.  Secondly, it’s Alaska and that water is freezing.  Finally, it’s Alaska and I have personally seen bears along that river.  

What’s important to note here is that for the first time, in a long time, I realized something about myself.  I was growing.  I was making smart, well thought out decisions.  Not all the time, one could argue not even most of the time.  But today I did!  I’ll take the small win.

Number seven scary - Solo cruiser

I am doing something that scares me.  This is actually my seventh scary item and I am proud to have finished off this category!

I am on a cruise by myself.  The industry term for me is “solo cruiser”.  This means I pay a premium but have a state room to myself.  It’s day 2...and it’s not too bad.  Not going to lie...it’s a bit lonely at times...but overall I am staying positive and determined to have a good time.

The past few months have been hard.  I have struggled after coming home from my last mission and I haven’t really had a chance to be alone.  Another reason I thought I could take a break and be by myself for a bit.  

I have done this cruise before...but it’s different when you are by yourself.  Last night at dinner I was seated at a table for one.  This “special” table was pretty much inside the waiters stand.  With a strong focus on customer service, this means that every single waiter who returned to the stand to pick up the water jug or coffee urn would ask me, “how was your meal”.  Literally every third bite I had to answer this question.  Could be worse I guess...the soufflé was amazing!