Meditation stresses me out

I know that meditation is good for you...I have read the journals and the buzz-feed pop-ups telling me how I can live a more fulfilled life if a meditate.  But here's the thing...I suck at meditation.  And when I am trying to meditate, all I end up think about is how I am doing it wrong.  Well that's what I think about when I stop planning my day, wondering what's going to happen in my book, guessing why (inset name here) didn't text back.  And then I start to stress.  I think my blood pressure actually rises during those 10-min. 

I have done it in the past.  Gotten up a little earlier...made time and committed for over a month!  And, I begrudgingly admit, I did enjoy it.  But I couldn't seem to make it a habit.  Here's the thing with me - I cannot accomplish anything when I am not busy.  If I have a full day of work, grad school, family/friend commitments...I am superwoman.  I can find time to get all that done, meditate, exercise (well, somewhat) etc.  But - if I have nothing to do...as I do now while I wait for my next contract to start...I get nothing accomplished.  I can't find the time to do a 10-min meditation!!!  And then I get more stressed that I can't find the time to do it!!  AHHHH!!!!

But I have seen meditation work wonders on people.  So, with a sigh and a determination to "do better, not perfect but better", I move forward. 

(The above photo was from today's meditation)

I am recovering after a nasty bout with the flu, which made a dent in book reading but not much else.  Hoping to make up for lost time...update next time.